Quotes from a (bad) rambling book: A heartbreaking work of Staggering Genius

When I was in high school and an undergrad in college, I would find a passage in a book that really spoke to me in a special way. Something that I swore was written just for me. I'd read it to someone, and they'd say 'heh', and not be that interested. I dare you:
"This is obscene. How dare we be standing around,t alking about nothing, not running in one huge mass of people, running at something, something huge, knocking it over? Why do we all bother coming out, gathering her in numbers like this, without starting fires, tearing things down? How dare we not lock the doors and replace the white bulbs with red and commence with the massive orgy, the joyous mingling of a thousand arms, legs, breasts" - page 134
I love the poetic-ness, the feeling that there must be something bigger, some grander purpose to socialization. That feeling you get when the conversation is just a bit too dull, and you're like "why am I here?" When you're looking at the girls and wishing you had the nerve to say something, the wit to think of something clever that would make them love you, that would make the whole room recognize your genius. OK, well maybe a bit less ego-centric than that, but one giant shared-love experience, that we're all ok. We all crave that attention, that acceptance, isn't that what an orgy represents anyways? One giant community fulfillment?
In case you couldn't tell, I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes a community, and why we bother finding or joining one. I'm not sure that I ever really have - certainly friends, and groups of friends, but never neighbors in a very real way, or any other physical or ideological grouping. I yearn for that grander purpose to start fires and tear things down - I had a taste of it in the WTO protests in Seattle 1999.
Yes, it's been awhile. Welcome back, Kevin.

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